Thursday, August 18, 2005

Conspiracy Theory 9: No Election, All Bad All Good


Singapore, yet again, have no election. This is bad because of the following reasons:
1. If there is voting, all locals will be spending their time of around 1 hour for voting. Being such a globalised country, the foreigners would be either mugging and slogging themselves, thus leaving the locals behind to try to do the catch-up only 1 hour later. From this point, the locals would be most likely not be performing as well as the foreigners, and the authorities will have even more reasons to be importing foreigners to replace locals who can do a much better job. Therefore, if there is voting, it will inevitably make Singapore the most globalised country ever!

2. Singaporeans will feel bad. They cannot get the chance to vote although they are told that they are living in a democratic society. They would be envious of the foreigners who not only can get to enjoy the perks and benefits of living in such a great country, Singapore, yet when there is an election in their own home country, they still are able to get the chance to do sacred act of voting. Thus, voting will make Singaporeans feel great and proud of themselves and continue to believe thay they live in a democratic and equal society.

This is all good due to the following factors:

1. If there is voting, papers and lots of papers will be used for voting. Not forgetting the labour cost of conducting a vote station setup, the security for the authorities think that Singapore is so worthy of being bombed, the meticulous counting over and over again because the authorities cannot believe the outcome of the voting results; all these will surely affect the economy of Singapore. Luckily for Singapore, there is no voting which will result to a greater economy growth for the next quarter and make all Singaporeans a happy citizen because the country is making so money, so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for the nation.

2. There will be no queuing for the Singaporeans who cannot stay out in open air for more than 1 minute. Luckily there is no voting, Singaporeans will be able to stay at home or in the food court, while utilising the greatest invention for Singapore-the air-conditioned.

3 Comments:

Anonymous dev! said...

there seems to be a problem with the language.. structure as a whole..

18/8/05 15:18  
Anonymous balex said...

What does Steven who takes EL have to say?

19/8/05 17:37  
Anonymous steven said...

shambolic~
wahaha!!

19/8/05 21:31  

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